When my husband Alan and I realized we were expecting in February of 2003, we immediately made an appointment with my OB-GYN. After that initial appointment, we were disappointed in what we heard and had both been doing a lot of reading that was leading us towards a more natural, intervention free birth. That was when we saw a commercial on TV for the Greenhouse Birth Center!  We went to the Thursday information night the next week and I just knew instinctively within minutes of walking through the door that this was the place that I would deliver my baby. I count following my gut instinct on that as one of the best decisions I have made in my life.

After many months of education and nurturing at the Birth Center, I really felt that I was ready to birth this baby. I wasn't afraid, I just kept wondering exactly HOW I would know I was in labor. "Don't worry" everyone told me, "you'll know".  I was due on Halloween and had heard often how first babies are late, so I was really expecting an early November baby. As the days of October crept on, my excitement was growing, but I wasn't feeling Braxton Hicks contractions, my mucus plug hadn't broken, so labor still seemed far off to me. I was becoming very uncomfortable though, and took that as a sign that my birth was nearing. 

On Saturday night, the 25th of October, I woke up around 1 AM with pretty severe back pain. Because of the position of the baby, I had been told back labor was a possibility. This was pretty bad pain, but nothing that I felt I couldn't manage on my own. I didn't even wake up my husband. I spent the night intermittently in the Jacuzzi with the jets on both my belly and my back and reading information on breastfeeding. Still, it was persistent and unrelenting. I didn't necessarily think it was labor because I wasn't feeling contractions and it wasn't getting worse, but there is no way I could have slept through it, either. As morning came, I decided I had better wake Alan and get his input on what was happening. We were deciding whether we should page an on-call midwife when the pain slowly started to subside and then went away. We decided it was just 'close to labor' pain and I went to bed for the day.

 Both Sunday and Monday passed without incident. Actually, Monday, my mom and sister came to Lansing for the day and we went out to lunch and shopping at Eastwood Towne center and I felt great (just nine months pregnant). Monday evening, I went to bed around 9 PM and remember thinking to myself that tonight I was going to get a really good nights’ sleep. And I did, I didn't even have to wake up to go to the bathroom at all that night! I slept soundly until about 4:15, when our cat, Lulu came and sat on my stomach. I took note of this because this cat never even came in our room at night, let alone got in bed with us. She sat on my stomach for about ten minutes and then got up and left. Five minutes later, I was brought to my knees by an intense pain in my abdomen.

My initial thought was, 'well, at least I slept soundly until now'.  I didn't necessarily  think this was labor, just more 'end of pregnancy' discomfort. I got up and ran a warm bath to get in. I told Alan to go back to bed and I would call him if I needed him. About fifteen minutes later, he came into the bathroom with a paper and pen and said 'From the sounds of it, your having contractions and I think we should time them'. I agreed and we started to time. The contractions were all over the place; three minutes, fifteen minutes, eight minutes, two minutes, no rhyme or reason to them at all. We assumed this was early labor and I remember thinking that this may go away too, just like the pain of the Saturday before.

Around 6 AM or so, the contractions were still all over the place, but getting more intense. Alan wanted to page a midwife but I was a little hesitant. I was still not convinced this was the real deal or was, at most, very early labor. My water had not broken or any other tell-tale signs of labor. He called anyway and Kip called us back immediately. Alan was talking to her and she told him just from hearing me in the background, that, yes, I was indeed in labor and they agreed that we would meet at the birth center in one hour at, 7 AM.

We called my sister Mia, who we had planned to be at the birth. Strangely, she had woken at 5 AM and turned to her boyfriend and said 'Renee's in labor' and was up and ready when we called her at 6. She was at the house soon, we grabbed my labor bag and we were off to the birth center! The ride there was bumpy and painful and I remember yelling at Alan to quit driving so roughly (although in hindsight, I realize it was the contractions, not his driving!) .

When we got to the birth center, Kip was already there turning lights on, getting the big Jacuzzi tub filled, preparing my birthing room for a birth. I remember thinking, "boy, I hope this is labor and I am not wasting everyone's time". I had to stop in the main room for a contraction on the couch before I could continue on into the pink room I had chosen for my birth. Clarice showed up soon after. 

Kip checked me and announced, "honey, you’re definitely in labor, you’re dilated to 9, you’re almost ready to push!" I couldn't believe it. I didn't understand, where was my labor? How had I dilated so far when I still thought I was in early labor? "How was this possible"? I kept asking and Clarice said "we'll figure it out later, let's get this baby born now". I climbed into the Jacuzzi. The contractions were coming  hard and fast now. I remember Kip telling me in between contractions to "take your break, you always get a break" and I did, those reprieves from the waves of labor were welcome sources of rest for me.

The water was wonderful, really minimizing a lot of the pain I was feeling. Mia and Alan were great at bringing me water just when I needed it and putting cold cloths on my forehead at just the right time. Pretty soon, I told Kip "I feel like pushing" and so she said "Well, push then". In between contractions, she checked me and I had in fact dilated to 10 and was ready to push my baby out! I pushed for awhile in the Jacuzzi, about 45 minutes, before Kip suggested I get out and try some other positions. Being one who loves baths and the water, I was reluctant to get out and ignored her. Ten minutes later, a little more persistent now, she said "Renee, I really think you need to get out of the tub and try some other positions" so I reluctantly acquiesced.

First, I pushed on the birthing stool. Then I tried a birthing ball. Then they suggested I try sitting on the toilet in the bathroom. All of these positions were productive, but I knew I wasn't going to birth this baby in any of them. And I still couldn't get the fact out of my head that I had really missed a big portion of my labor....'how could I be pushing already'? I kept thinking to myself. Next, we tried me hanging on Alan with my arms around his neck. This position was more funny then anything because he had socks on and kept slipping on the hardwood floors and Clarice had to take his socks off for him. After that, I decided my wobbly legs needed a break and got on the bed where I pushed on all fours, with my arms on the headboard and back on the floor bending over the bed.

At this point about two and a half hours had passed since I started pushing and I was getting very tired, this was hard work! I remember saying "I can't do this" but following it up immediately with "yes, I can". I knew I needed to just focus and get this baby born. I pushed for a while more, the baby’s head started to crown and Alan was able to see the head, "the baby has a ton of hair!" he reported. Clarice was massaging my perineum with oil to help it open up. Still, I pushed and pushed and the baby didn't seem any closer to being born. Clarice came to me then and said, very hesitantly, "Renee, the baby is right there, ready to be born, but it's just stuck a little and I think if I make a cut, it will be able to pass through more easily" I said, "do you mean an episiotomy"? and she said "yes, I think you would be a good candidate for one." I replied,  "will it make the baby come out soon?" She said "probably in a push or two" to which I replied "Cut it"! I wanted this baby to be born so badly. Would it be a boy or girl?? Soon, I would know.

 She made the incision in between waves of pushing and I remember Alan being startled by the amount of blood it produced and one of the midwives assuring him this was very normal. As for me, I didn't even feel the incision or notice the blood, I was feeling far too much pressure to think or notice anything else. The next urge I felt to push came on and out came the baby's head, "one more push!" Clarice told me and I pushed with every ounce of energy I had left in me and out came my baby below me (I was on all fours on the bed). I will never forget how immediate the release of pressure on my body was. It was over and a primal urge came over me as I yelled "I want my baby" and scooped my baby up in my arms. I didn't even think about if it was a boy or girl; I just wanted to hold close my baby I had worked so hard to birth. I remember hearing Alan in the background saying "It's a boy!!" and the jubilation of that moment in our lives will never leave me.

We all settled into the bed with our baby on my chest as we let his umbilical cord finish pulsing the last vital nutrients into him and he was put to my breast, to which he immediately took to! Alan, Jack and I just laid there, as a family, while we checked out all of his fingers and toes, facial features and took time to see our little boy. The midwives had assessed him an apgar score and checked his vitals, but it was so noninvasive of our space as a new family, that I don't remember them doing any of it. Soon after, Clarice stitched up my incision while Jack had a more formal check next to me on the bed by Kip and his daddy.  It was determined he was 8 lbs 12 ounces and 20 inches long! We decided then would be a good time for an herbal bath and Jack and I took our first of many, many baths together. It was such a peaceful, bonding moment and his eyes were so wide and calm as he looked at me with such trust in his eyes. No crying, no confusion, no bright lights, or hurried people, he truly entered the world in the most calm, loving and peaceful way, and for that, I will forever be grateful to the women at the Greenhouse Birth Center. I am now preparing to birth my second child at the birth center in six weeks and I often think how lucky my children are and will be to have been born into such a beautiful, serene and empowered environment. As a mother, I can think of no better first gift to give them.