Rachel’s Birth Story
as told by her mother, Shelie 

June 18, 2005

 

This is the story of the birth of my fourth child. I never thought my husband and I would be having another baby after wanting and waiting for so long. In fact, I decided to start midwifery school when it didn’t look like another baby was meant to be.  This had been a goal of mine for many years and my other children Erika, eighteen, Rebecca, eleven, and Jonathan, nine—were now old enough for me to work on this goal. It took a long time for me to believe I was really pregnant. I felt great and never really even felt pregnant until past twenty-eight weeks or so. The pregnancy went fast because I was finishing up my midwifery program and was very busy. I felt connected to the women I cared for and shared many of their experiences. Every baby I helped into the world made me excited to see my own. I knew I wanted to have this baby at home. Kip and Clarice took care of me during my last two pregnancies and births in the hospital. Through those experiences, they became friends and inspired me to become a midwife. I knew I would be working with them at the birth center in a few months. They agreed to a home birth as long as no one else was in labor at the birth center. I enjoyed my prenatal visits because it was a chance to chat with friends.

I finished up with midwifery school in May and Erika’s high school graduation open house was a few weeks later. After this, I had some free time to myself and could finish getting ready. I was able to do some sewing and reading and get the house in order. My due date was June 15^th. In the couple days before Rachel was born, I began to feel some of the common end of pregnancy discomforts, and I knew I was ready for her to be born. Two nights before she was born I was up all night thinking it was time because I was having irregular and strong contractions, cramps, and a backache. I have had unusually easy labors in the past.  My contractions didn’t get very close together, but everything went fast once I figured out I was in labor. Saturday the 18^th, I awoke around two in the morning after having a few, really strong, contractions in a row. I knew it was going to be it this time. I got up and started straightening the house. The contractions were strong but not close together. I mopped the kitchen floor and put the dishes away. Having a homebirth puts a little pressure on you to have a clean house! Around 4 a.m. I tried to check my cervix. I wasn’t dilated; so I tried to rest. I dozed for an hour then my contractions became too uncomfortable; so I got up again. At 5:30 a.m. I had some bloody show, so I checked my cervix again. This time I was 3-4cm, 80% effaced, and I could feel the baby's head. I was so happy knowing it was finally happening. With my other labors, once I hit this point, everything went pretty fast and was over in few hours. At 6am I woke John up and told him that it was time. He was happy too. I called Clarice at a little past six. I told her the contractions were not too close; so she didn't have to hurry, and she could shower, have her coffee, and make her way over. She said I was very nice. It isn't often when you have a mom who can evaluate herself this precisely!

By seven-thirty that morning the house was awake and Kip and Clarice had arrived. I had my bedroom set up as my cozy space. My contractions were around five to seven minutes apart and strong. I was still comfortable. I remember trying out different things to see if they made the contractions more tolerable or worse. I was trying to take in the whole experience and certainly did my share of over analyzing! The midwives settled themselves in, and I rocked in the chair as we chatted. Clarice started her knitting and Kip was reading her book. My husband went to the living room with the kids and "left us ladies to chat." He had rented a video and decided to watch it with the kids. Around ten or eleven, I was getting impatient and wondering what was taking so long. The contractions seemed to space out to between five and fifteen minutes apart. Kip wondered if I was getting "watched pot syndrome," and I thought I was. She suggested what she called a "diversionary trip" if I was up to it. I had been telling them about the nice candle shop we had in town. It sounded like a strange but good idea. I wanted to be checked before we left. I was 6cm dilated. Things had slowed down so much, I wasn't too concerned. I told my family the plan, and Kip, Clarice, and I got in the car and drove the few blocks to the store. It felt good to be out. I knew the woman working at the candle shop and she asked “when are you due again?” I told her now because I was in labor. The look on her face was fascinating! We bought a few things. Clarice bought the “nurture” sign that is outside the birth center. On the way home they wanted to get something to eat. I had a really big contraction while waiting in the McDonalds drive thru, and Clarice said jokingly that I had better not break my water in her car! I thought "don't make me laugh in the middle of a contraction. It breaks my concentration!" When we got home the contractions were stronger, and I had to moan through some. I had a hard time getting comfortable and went from place to place, also getting in and out of the tub. I liked to be alone. The contractions were still so far apart. I was so tired and tried to lie down to doze for awhile. I was complaining a lot about how long it was taking.  Kip and Clarice just smiled and said that it was okay. I am much more patient with other moms than with myself! Sometime in the afternoon, I asked to be checked again. I needed to have someone else tell me that I really was in labor since I no longer felt that I was. I was nine cm and stretchy, and the baby's head was lower. I felt no pressure, and the contractions were not as strong. I remember sitting on the toilet trying to push to see what would happen: nothing. You just can’t do it if you don’t feel the urge. Kip and Clarice were so calm and patient. It helped me to be the same. I said that I should have waited to call them. They asked “Well, when would you have called?” Good question. My family was coming in and out to check on me but knew that I preferred to be by myself. John came and sat with me towards the end. I remember Kip taking a “sick of being in labor” picture in which I couldn’t help but smile since I really didn’t feel much like a woman in labor! I decided to get into the bathtub again and while I was there, I fell asleep for what seemed like fifteen minutes or so but what turned out to be only a few minutes. I awoke to a HUGE contraction. I got out when it was over since it did not feel good to sit. I hurried into the bedroom to lie on my side. The next contraction came soon, and I screamed. It was so strong and intense. My water broke and I could feel my pelvis spread out and the baby come down. Everyone came running. I told Jonathan to go wake Erika up. She had been napping since she had to work that night. Rebecca had a little look of panic on her face. I remember smiling and telling her to not be scared of my noise. I asked Clarice if she could see anything. She said it was hard to see when my legs were together! I replied that I would open them in a minute and asked her to put warm compresses on my perineum. The next contraction came. I put my foot on her shoulder and hollered again. It was so fast and uncontrollable. I didn’t really push. My body just took over. I remember Clarice saying she could see lots of dark hair. I had always wanted to reach down and help my baby out, but I just couldn’t do it. It was so intense and painful, and I just wanted the baby out. I asked her if the head was out, and she said not all the way. I pushed a little more so the rest of the head would come out and it did. Immediately after, I felt the urge to push again and the baby came out very fast. I was overwhelmed with joy when she was born and shouted “my baby is here!" John and Rebecca were there with big smiles on their faces. I asked for Jonathan and Erika to come in soon after. Rebecca looked and announced, "It's a girl”. I was so happy. I yelled “It’s a girl!” I thought for sure I was going to have a boy.

Rachel was covered in vernix, and I had to explain to my family what this was. She let out a scream after a minute or so and then was pretty quiet. It felt so good to hold her. She was beautiful and perfect. She nursed for a long time soon after she was born.  In the weeks and months ahead it was about all she wanted to do. Rachel Joyce Ross was born at 3:12 P.M. on June 18, 2005. She weighed 8 pounds and 6 ounces. She was 21 inches long. We had a hard time picking out a girl's name. We had always liked the name Rachel. As a matter of fact, we had almost named Rebecca that. Joyce was my mother’s name. She had passed away four years earlier. I wish she had been there to meet Rachel. Soon after the birth, the kids ran out and put up the “It’s a girl” yard sign, so the town would know that we had a little girl. (We had bought both a girl and boy sign.) We live in a small town on Main Street; so this was the fastest way to spread the word. Many of our friends and neighbors were eager to know. I called my sister right away because I knew that she was waiting by the phone to hear the news. John started making phone calls to the rest of our family.

This birth was such a good experience. It was so comforting to be in my own home. The birth was a continuation of our life, not an interruption that uprooted everyone. It could have been a little faster but as Kip and Clarice always say, "Every baby and mom gets the kind of labor they need.” I enjoy remembering the experience through Kip’s great pictures. Experiencing birth and motherhood again has given me a new perspective that will help me as a midwife. Rachel was definitely given to us for a reason. Motherhood this time was a harder transition than I had anticipated. Rachel has been a challenging baby and, at times, she has made me feel like I had never done this before! I have really enjoyed seeing my other children love and adore the newest addition to our family.