Elijah’s Birth

The following morning, Monday Dec. 1, I woke up when Chad’s alarm went off at 5am. He asked how I felt and if I wanted him to stay home. Even though the offer was tempting, I didn’t feel any different. I told him to go to work but to call throughout the day and see what my progress was. He was taking 2 weeks off (unpaid) after the birth so I knew he needed to get all the hours he could. I woke up between 7 and 7:30am, restless. I never had an “energy surge”, but I also felt like I needed to be up and walking. When Chad called on his first break at 8am, I told him I felt pretty awake and alert. I also thought I could sense a slight pattern starting with the cramps. After we hung up, I called GBC to let them know what was going on. Kip called me back within a few minutes.  She told me to eat and drink plenty and to get back to bed. The last advice I didn’t like very much-I wasn’t very comfortable when lying down. I did it anyway and managed to sleep another 1.5 hours, only waking up during contractions. When Chad called at 10am, I knew there was a definite pattern and I couldn’t stay in bed any longer. I kind of wanted him to come home, but he said if I would be o.k. another 1.5 hours, he’d call me on his lunch. I had been walking around the apartment doing little things and making sure I had everything in my labor bag. I was at the point by 10am that, during contractions, I had to lean on something, sway and moan. A couple of times I had the fleeting thought of whether the neighbors in our apartment complex could hear me. But by that point I didn’t really care. I was thankful that I didn’t have any back labor-that had been one of my fears. Chad called at 11:30am and I told him in no uncertain terms to come home now. I wanted him home and I felt it would be time to leave for the birth center in the very near future. I even had a couple contractions while on the phone. He came home 15 minutes later and I had gone back to bed to attempt to get a bit more rest. I started to get into a barely-awake state in between contractions. They were much more intense when lying down, but I needed to rest. I don’t remember much when Chad came into the bedroom, but at some point I asked him to start timing my contractions. He did and each contraction was longer and more intense than the last. They were not very far apart- maybe 4 to 7 minutes. After a particularly hard one, I asked him how long it was. He replied “Almost 2.5 minutes”. I had enough. “Call the birth center-I want to be there now.” While he packed up the food we were going to take I managed to get out of my robe and got dressed. Boy, I sure hated having clothes on! I double checked my labor bag list and, sure I had everything, put it next to the door. We left at 2:30pm and, at first, the ride was o.k. Until 5 minutes later when I had my first contraction in the car. I desperately wanted to get out of there. If I did I’d have to walk to Okemos (from Mason) and I wasn’t about to do that! I ended up having 7 contractions on the ride there and now have a grudge against Mt. Hope Ave. in Okemos-at least until the city fixes that road.

We arrived at the GBC at 3pm and I felt like running to the green room. I had a contraction right inside the door and had to lean on the back of the couch. I couldn’t sit very long but, once inside the green room, managed to sit long enough for Audra to take my blood pressure. As quick as I could, I tore those clothes off and got into my long beach cover-up t-shirt I had brought. It was the only shirt that was long enough to afford me some modesty and also was comfy. I knew I wanted to be in the tub eventually, but I didn’t feel a strong urge for it for about a hour or so. In the meantime, I walked around and Chad held me in different labor positions during the contractions. I hung from him, but sometimes from his neck facing him and sometimes him holding me under my arms and facing away from him. I never knew what I needed until I did the “wrong” position and had to switch to another immediately. After a while, I was feeling tired again and wanted to sit between contractions. I tried to sit in the rocker but that’s not what my body wanted! I hadn’t stood up so fast in my whole last month! Audra brought me the birthing ball and that’s just what I needed at that time. Pretty soon I felt like I wanted to be in that tub bad. The 10-15 minutes it took to fill seemed like forever. I had a sleep bra on under my shirt, so I left my shirt on the floor and got in as fast as I could. Ahhhhh, relief! I loved the feeling of the warm, comforting water and my contractions were not nearly so intense. I could still feel them, but I moaned much softer during them. Chad was so great! He made sure I drank enough water and held my hand. He helped me out of the tub, to the toilet and back. (That was the worst part-getting out of that tub. My contractions were so much harder out of the tub that I hurried as fast as I could to pee and get back in it!)

During one trip to the bathroom, I had a contraction on the toilet. It got more and more and more intense. It was all I could do to hang on to Chad and moan. At the climax I felt a sort of *pop* and release. It didn’t really hurt, but it surprised me. I screamed when it happened. My water broke into the toilet. When I realized what happened, I thought “Oh, how convenient”.  When Chad told Audra, she said to not flush it-she needed to check it to make sure it looked normal. I got back in the tub, not knowing what was going to happen next but I trusted my body and the midwives. This happened roughly 2.5 hours after I got in the tub.

After my water broke, things really got serious. I don’t have many clear memories because my brain was soaked with all those wonderful endorphins. I remember looking into Chad’s eyes during some really intense contractions. He told me later how hard it was for him to see me go through that-he wanted to cry and take away the pain I was in. It never seemed painful the way we normally think of pain. It wasn’t bad-nothing was wrong. My body was birthing a baby and had to work hard to get him out. All the same, I also saw the love in his eyes; that he was with me no matter what and was proud of what I was accomplishing. Chad noticed I was sweating (I hadn’t noticed). He asked Audra for some cold cloths. She brought two and a small bowl of cold water. That was a wonderful feeling. Chad would wipe my face and leave the cloth on my head or over my eyes-always just what I needed. I remember some of my contractions being very close together, about 30 seconds apart and I wasn’t ready for them. Only later did I realize that it was transition. I remember being on the toilet and, while saying something to Chad, my voice sounded a little funny to me. It was a short while later that I realized my body had started pushing. I remember having to sit up in the tub with my contractions because my body was pushing now-I wasn’t doing anything on purpose yet. Chad helped me to sit up, supported me, and helped me to relax back into my semi-reclining position. A few times, during the harder contractions, my eyes sought out one of the midwives. By then Kip, Clarice, and Audra were in the room with me, knitting. Kip was the one in my direct line-of-site. She didn’t need to say anything-a couple times she gave me an encouraging smile. That’s all I needed from her. That was my reassurance that everything was normal-I was going through what countless other women had gone through to birth their babies and I was to be one among them. Her calmness helped to calm me and helped me in moments of doubt. I remember Clarice asking if she could check me to make sure the baby wasn’t stuck. I was worried at first, worried that her hand would make the contraction worse-I’d had no interest in having my dilation checked. However, after the following contraction I gave her my consent. She checked on the next one and told me he was moving down just fine. I remember looking down at my belly and noticing that where the bump of baby had been was now flat and the bump had moved down quite a bit. That was so exciting to see! I remember Kip suggesting that I get into a different position and that might help the baby come out sooner. I didn’t want to, but on the next contraction my body practically threw itself into that position (I went from semi-reclined to on my knees leaning over the side of the tub). I was able to cling to Chad and he could whisper encouragements to me. I was also able to look directly at the wall hanging in the green room. It reads “I am not afraid; I was born to do this-Joan of Arc”. That gave me new courage and determination during fleeting moments of self-doubt. I could never fully put into words what that meant to me during the hardest part of my labor. It almost brings me to grateful tears just thinking about it.

The active pushing was the hardest work I’ve ever done. That part was painful and I sometimes got carried away-the midwives had to remind me to take my break between contractions and to push with them.  I had fleeting thoughts of “Just cut the kid out” a couple times, but then my rational mind came back (in between contractions) and I knew I didn’t really want that. I’m sure I made Chad temporarily deaf in his right ear, but he didn’t complain. I had a feeling I was going to be fairly vocal during labor, but while actively pushing I even surprised myself. At one point, I remember yelling “Get out!” to the baby (Chad told me later that everyone smiled at each other when I yelled that). Most of the time, I yelled for God. It was my way of asking for His help and strength.  I also remember thinking “It really does feel like I’m taking the biggest crap in the world” but it didn’t console me much. Clarice was the midwife watching for the baby and she encouraged me to reach down and touch. I never felt his head when it was actually out, but I did feel down there once and felt the bulge when his head was close to being out. Frankly, I just wanted to be done with the business of birthing and hold my baby already! The pressure kept building and when I couldn’t take it anymore, Clarice said “The head’s out! O.k., shoulders next. You’re almost done”. I don’t remember a “ring of fire” so much (probably because of the water). I do remember feeling myself stretch and stretch; I was a little scared that I would tear but I couldn’t stop pushing. I felt his little body slip and all of a sudden, relief flooded me-the baby was out! I felt his little leg against mine and the umbilical cord brush past me. I scooped him up out of the water and sat back. His eyes were wide open, taking in the sudden change of environment. There’s a picture that Audra took (she was our labor photographer) of me holding him under water and his eyes open! He didn’t cry or wail, just looked at us as we looked at him. He did protest when Clarice suctioned his mouth, but that was it.  I couldn’t believe it. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that the work was done and here was my baby! I just stared at him, trying to take it all in. It felt like I was in a dream, waiting to wake up. Then I looked at Chad. It was a moment I’ll always remember. Even though we’d found out our baby’s gender, I checked anyway. And sure enough, we had ourselves a little boy-Elijah David. After he was born, it was like a switch had been flipped. I felt calm, happy, hungry, and couldn’t stop looking at my son and my husband. Chad cut the cord after I’d pushed the placenta out (they tell you that’s the third stage of labor but it felt more like an afterthought). He didn’t think he’d want to cut the cord, but he didn’t have a problem when they asked. Elijah was born at 9:08pm. Total labor: 13.5 hrs.

I hated to get out of that tub, but it had turned really red and the baby needed to be warmed up and dried off. When in bed, I shook like I do when I’m very cold-the midwives said that was normal. The warm sheets were so great! After a little while, they had Chad help me to the bathroom where I fainted on the toilet. It really scared Chad and I don’t really remember being helped back into bed. I’ve never fainted before and it felt like I simply went to sleep. After about 3 glasses of juice and some dried apples I started to feel a bit better. Chad watched me until color came back into my face. I ended up with a second degree tear and had to be sewn up. That was not fun! It was worse than my labor! Chad held Elijah while Clarice did her thing and I sure wished I could’ve switched places with him. After a while, the midwives weighed and measured him, but all on the bed. He was never taken from us-if I didn’t have him then Chad did. He latched right on and nursed about 5 minutes.  We had the first 2 hours with him while my family was busy making my supper of choice-potato soup. We had brought the ingredients and everyone set to work while they waited. Finally, I gave Chad the o.k. to let everyone in. I was o.k. with everyone taking their turn holding him, but I didn’t let him out of my sight. It was a relief when I had him back in my arms. My best friend, Kacie, was the last to leave at 1:30am. Then, we settled in for the night. It was snowing and the roads were really bad. We snuggled into bed with our hours-old son.  Audra was in the next room if we needed anything. It was the perfect start to our baby’s life and I will be back for our other children. I could not imagine giving birth anywhere else. Greenhouse Birth Center was an answer to my prayers.

Though the birth was perfect, the following day was one of the worst I’ve experienced. When Clarice examined Elijah, she found he was breathing very fast-about 100 bpm instead of 30-60 bpm. We ended up taking him to a hospital ER (the most traumatic experience for us) and he spent 2 weeks in the NICU. He had somehow caught pneumonia and needed IV fluids for 5 days until his breathing was under control. He was almost a week old before he could try to nurse again. He was also on antibiotics for 10 days. As hard as that experience was, I’m grateful that my husband was with me; I leaned on him the most. We were able to stay at Ronald McDonald House for the duration of Elijah’s hospital stay. What a Godsend!  Kip also asked to have regular reports and kept our situation in their hearts. I was able to have my placenta encapsulated and they got it to us the very next day (Wed). Those pills made such a huge difference; I could tell after one dose. Even though this was a scary experience, we are forever thankful to God that we still have our little boy. He’s such a precious gift. My mom asked me, because of all we went through, if I’d still want to be at GBC for my next child. I told her “Absolutely!” We were told by doctors that they see babies with pneumonia every couple weeks. If this was to happen anyway, I would much rather have had the gentle, peaceful birth experience to welcome our baby into the world. The bonding we had in the first 12 hours could never be duplicated in a hospital setting. Today, at 5 months old, Elijah is a thriving, active, laughing little boy who is forever curious about the world.